RULES OF ATTRACTION

Carrot Top does the Commentary Track for Rules of Attraction. Yup...Carrot

Top...the prop comic. Is he in the movie? No. Did he direct the Movie?

No! Is he inanyway affiliated with the film besides doing this commentary

track? No! As a matter of fact there is no logical reason Carrot

Top does commentary for this Roger Avary film because as we find

out, he hasn’t even seen it yet. It’s like he wandered

into the wrong room at the right time and whoever produced the commentary

track just said, “Sure, Fuck It!”

 This track shows a whole new side to the family friendly prop comic.

Within the first 15 minutes he says, “Beaver”, “Titties”, “Fuck”, “Black

Dick” “Stink Ass Pussy”, “Whores”, Strap-On” and “Suck

Cock”. Whenever he sees a gay character he refers to them as “Siegfried

or Roy”. He refers to black people as “Ms. Cleo and Puff Daddy” and

don’t worry he even slams the Native Americans Indians too. His blue

routine doesn’t stop there. At one point he talks about Internet porn

and laments that there is not a computer which you can put your dick right

inside. Suffice it to say, this is not the Carrot Top you are used to seeing.

It’s like a dirty clown trying to make friends outside a strip club.

But let’s put that on the back burner for a second.

Listening to this commentary is like watching a movie over at your

friend’s house. You know, the one with the annoying roommate

with the huge TV; you can’t go anywhere else to watch TV because

he has the best one. Throughout this track Carrot Top is like a Tommy

Gun, he fires out hundreds of jokes and about 4 hit. He even repeats

old jokes again later in the movie just in case you missed it the

first time. (See: Corey Feldman, Goonies Commentary Track). Keep

in mind the caliber of jokes revolve around such hot topics as Clinton

Impressions (“Suck my Presidential Cock”), Viagra, Mike

Tyson, Erik Estrada, Nash Bridges and of course OJ Simpson (OJ did

such a bad job he got blood in my bronco). It’s like

going to the Catskills without leaving the house. And if that isn’t

enough, he sings along with songs in the film and hums when he gets

bored.

To make matters worse he won’t end the commentary track. He talks through

most of the credits and then he won’t leave. He obviously has nowhere

to be. His closing line, “ I don’t know about you but I want to

get some pussy!” And I say this to you, buy this shitty movie to cherish

one of the most wrong commentary tracks ever recorded. It’s genius. This

is currently my number one commentary track.

Someone asked why Carrot Top did this Track, so I did some research

and here’s the real reason why. To find out click below… www.seanperkins.com/archives/000055.htm